While packing I found some of my old writings and poems. This poem is called Dream. I wrote it before I met Liz. I hope you enjoy it.
Loneliness the agonizing dream,
disenchanted I roam like death.
Forever alone by my own will.
Weep not for me, I have a mission it seems
to make a mark on the Earth that will last beyond me.
The foolishness of it all, for the only lasting thing I can leave,
I am denied in my foolhardy quest.
With a fools dream, I go forth,
alone hoping for the day of release.
The desolation burns my soul,
scorched into the flesh that I am alone.
An alloy of human flesh and loneliness.
But weep not, for I go forward with a dream.
I go forward alone to save the world!
To save the world, that is why I must be alone.
For only the selfless, can save the world
and the selfless are alone.
Or maybe, it truly is because I am alone.
Alone upon the planet, the people only phantoms.
The phantoms play and have fun,
I journey on and have none.
No, it is because I can not bring myself
to open up my heart and believe
in the promise of love and intimacy.
I am afraid, afraid of Eve
for she has cut into me
Wounds that can never be healed, by the likes of me.
So I stay away from Eve in my loneliness.
I strive to find happiness
from within, but how can I a man
Heal the deep wounds that I see,
the hurt, pain, agony, and shame.
Yet still, I wallow, still, I claim
In what I know as home.
So now you know,
I live not for some great cause
Or even the simple pleasures.
I live my life to not be
struck down again by Eve.
Fear is how I live.
Fear of pain
and fear of healing.
Locked in between, the outcome is certain.
A lonely old man, accomplished
except for the one thing.
The caress of a lover.
The warmth of a friendship
and the comfort of loved ones.
But do not grieve for me,
I give selfishly
to this folly of a dream.
But the joke is on me
for she can not only wound me
but heal me.
